Sometimes I wonder why there’s not tons and tons of VC crack!fic and then I remember that large portions of the book are basically crack!fic

#seriously though

#remember that time lestat got louis some hookers to eat as an apology for being a douche

#remember that time armand stole someone’s hands as punishment

#remember that time lestat took louis to go terrorize and old man and then buy louis a coat

#remember that time david broke into lestat and louis’ house and demanded they go to the carnival

#remember that time lestat mentioned he could laugh at carpet for hours on end

#remember that time marius sent armand on fieldtrips to local brothels

#remember that time louis said he was feeling suicidal so david proposed vampire sex and made out with him

#remember that time tarquin got a handjob from his dead demonic twin brother he ate in utero

#remember that time armand thought marius was jesus and then marius gave him a handjob

#REMEMBER BLOOD CANTICLE IN ITS ENTIRETY

#does it make it harder or easier to write crack when your fandom is canonically this cracky

#its a moot point since theres so few vc fics anyway

#generally homosexual

merciful-death: [[ I can’t stop laughing at the tags.  You are a beautiful person. ]]

communistdracula added:

#also remember that one time lestat had sex with a nun and ate a chick out on her period in front of david and armand

#and that one time armand would make daniel have sex with random people so he could watch from the corner

#or that time pandora told marius that his vampire gift should have give him a bigger penis rather than a bigger ego

#what a wonderful series