I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:
“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”
I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.
I just had a hilarious conversation with someone on IM who wants to remain anon, I can’t imagine why, regarding the types of magic in Phangs, and allow me to just say without anymore preamble, no, the vampire does not need to use blood magic and or necromancy to sustain an erection 😂
He manages just fine on his own, thank you.
To your tags
If he doesn’t need to feed before it how he get boner and stay boner?
My vampires are human like in their physiology. Just extremely long lived and mildly demonic, particularly before their morning coffee. Which is not to say that they don’t drink blood, it’s just less prevalent in their day to day unlives than popular myth would have most folk believe.
“Really?” Nathan asked, sounding almost a little bit disappointed with his answer. “The whole virgin blood thing is a myth?”
Vlad cleared his throat delicately, gaze rolling up towards the ceiling and making a careful study of the crumbling plaster. “I wouldn’t exactly say it was a myth, not quite...”
When Nathan failed to fill the silence that followed he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, one megalomaniac with a fetish does not an entire species make, all right?”
Nathan held his hands up. “All right.”
“And besides, have you tried finding a virgin in this day and age? Oh I’m kidding, don’t look at me like that.”
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait is this entire book about punny gay idiots who happen to be undead??????????????
That…about sums it up yes. Think Addams family meets Terry Pratchett punnery and rage. Cause that’s what I’ve been told it reads like. And hahaha your tags, I’ve been calling it a satirical romance this whole time :p
As always, I can only answer re: Ricean vampires, I’m not aware of any other vampires in other media having tatts… maybe in Twilight they can/do?
Definitively, it’s not addressed in VC canon, I don’t remember any of the vampires having tatts (whether they got them before or after they were turned) so it’s open to interpretation, #Your headcanon may vary.Personally, I have a bunch of thoughts on this mixed into my #tattoo tag, so check that out.
My headcanon is that vampires can get a tatt (and it will look permanent) but it will fade during the deathsleep, which is what @frankenlandinformed us that Anne Rice thinks about it, too:
If we accept the author’s words as canon, we can say definitively:
1) Tattoos that the vampire tries to get AFTER they have been turned: Will vanish in 24 hrs.
2) Tattoos that the vampire has BEFORE they have been turned: Will fade/lighten/change (see comment from @monstersinthecosmos on my post about this, below)
i remember Anne said on FB once that someone’s tattoos would probably go really light and lacey/elegant looking after they’re turned, but remain in a way that looks ~ethereal~ lolol
^I’d have to find the post but I would imagine that AR means that the tattoo will “go really light and lacey/elegant looking” over time, not at the moment of turning, but it could be interpreted either way.
@thebibliosphere added to one of my posts: “I treat vampires as just very long living humans, which means even tattoos fade over time as the skin cells regenerate.” [X] I’m inclined to agree. I also think a tattoo could be removed from vampire flesh “by scraping/cutting/etc. off the tattooed skin and letting it regenerate to its natural state).” as @skeletalroses put it [X].
Hello! This question, actually, is much deeper than it appears.
I’ve addressed it physiologically before, and originally, I was going to link you to that privately, but then I remembered a tattoo from years back (under the cut bc it was under a cut on the person’s blog), and it inspired me to make further considerations, more in the context of the purpose of a tattoo. In that secondary but equally meaningful aspect, I haven’t addressed what the tattoos represent to the ones who wear them, and why the erasing of a tattoo could be devastating to a fledgling vampire. (As always, this response is only about Ricean vampires.)
I’m answering this with good intentions, just the exploration of this deeper question and context. I’m not trained in the issues that I will touch on, but these are just my thoughts on the topic at hand, and not meant to be authoritative in any way, shape, or form. I invite anyone who has gotten tattoos or is thinking about getting them to share your thoughts on this, to get some more perspective.
PART I: The physical aspect:
I don’t remember any tattooed Ricean vampires in canon, so I can’t say definitively whether the tattoo ink would remain or not :- This may be a question for the author. For our purposes:
On the one hand, as @thebibliosphere added to one of my posts: “I treat vampires as just very long living humans, which means even tattoos fade over time as the skin cells regenerate.” [X] I’m inclined to agree. I also think a tattoo could be removed from vampire flesh “by scraping/cutting/etc. off the tattooed skin and letting it regenerate to its natural state).” as @skeletalroses put it [X].
HOWEVER! On the other hand, the ink could be flushed out along with anything else on the body that is incompatible* to the vampiric parasite at the time that the vampire is turned (*“incompatible” meaning “unnecessary,” like the bodily organs for solid food breakdown or whatever else that are flushed out). Is a tattoo, or the ink thereof, an “imperfection” also an “incompatible” thing? I don’t know. So would the vampiric blood erase a tattoo? It’s possible!
– PART II –
People get tattoos for a wide variety of reasons, here’s just a few (and the first three I’m asterisking & bolding bc I feel like those are the reasons that I didn’t address properly before, and I want to try do so, albeit in a limited way, further down).
*To change something about themselves bc they are unable to change a larger aspect of their lives, possibly they want to transition from one gender to another, and are not financially able to do so,
*They are in the process of changing
a larger aspect of their lives, maybe they are gathering more information about the processes in order to make informed decisions about transitioning, or are taking HRT and gradually seeing the changes, or they have a specific quote/motto that is helping them through the change,
*To show that they have MADE a change about themselves and want to commemorate/celebrate that change, maybe they transitioned genders, or accomplished a life-long goal,
For protection/good fortune/etc., – my cousin has a viking rune of protection
To be part of a group – symbols that indicate allegiance to a group or religion,
To advertise one’s interests – like getting a Superman logo might draw other fans of the character to you and strike up a friendship or more,
(Some ppl do get tatts purely bc they’re aesthetically pleasing)
Etc….
Those first three are my focus right now, and I have not undergone a life change of that magnitude so I do not wish to offend anyone by presenting any misinformation.
But I can speculate that it is a deeply meaningful body modification. In some cases, it’s the only body modification that can be made and it has tremendous value to the person who chooses to have it. On a related note, when ppl ask about vampires and hair dye, I think this may be a similar kind of body modification, something that one can do if they are unable to do the larger desired change.
>>So a mortal gets a tattoo, or several, that help them feel like they’ve made at least that change to their bodies, and it helps them, whether it’s for a change desired, a change accomplished, or a change-in-progress.
If that mark is erased when they become a vampire, what does that mean about the change that the tattoo was about?
Is it erasing the change
desired/accomplished/-in-progress?
If that mark is erased, is being a vampire a sufficient replacement?
What are the consequences of erasing that mark as it pertains to the change desired/accomplished/-in-progress?
What emotional impact would it have on the vampire that that mark was erased?
So when this question is asked, it’s also about the fact that when someone chooses to get a tattoo for the sake of representing CHANGE, will that representation of change last into eternity? Would the mortal WANT it to? Would they be devastated that it was gone? These are all considerations and I don’t have the answers.
On the other hand, and on a lighter note,
Does this mortal really want that conversation-starter of a Superman logo on their thigh for ETERNITY?
How frustrating would that be to be stuck with something they’ve decided they DON’T like and/or support anymore, and keep getting asked about it repeatedly??
It could make for some intriguing vampire emotional exploration. #NO REGERTS indeed.
Again, a tattoo that I remembered from years back, which inspired me to make these considerations, is under the cut bc it was under a cut on the person’s blog originally.
For Ricean vampires (idk the rules with others), I don’t think dye would last forever bc they can cut their hair, and the dye would be effectively removed.
Dye is a color treatment on material that’s basically dead and outside their bodies. Even though their hair does not grow longer than the length it was when they were turned, it can be cut off and will grow back their natural color. I don’t think the dye would vanish during turning, either, like nailpolish wouldn’t vanish during turning. The nail underneath would change to that vampiry glassiness, but not be visible. The hair would change in texture inside the dye.
With something like a tattoo, I would think that it could be permanent, if the mortal had them before being turned, because the ink is under the skin, but maybe the vampiric parasite would reject the ink as being unnecessary. I don’t think we have any tattooed vampires in canon to know for sure.
I treat vampires as just very long living humans, which means even tattoos fade over time as the skin cells regenerate. Vlad has one (it features in the book) which he had done while alive, but after 400 years it has faded into a smude under his skin. In another few hundred it’ll be gone entirely. They’re undead not dead, with abnormally lengthened lives, so regeneration seems plausible, unlike a zombie who cannot heal.
So things like hair dye would grow and fade out too, in my universe too. Which means now I’m imagining hair dying parties with other vampires cause they can’t see whay they’re doing in the mirror.
For Ricean vampires however I’d say cutting the hair off would probably remove the dye and purge any tattoos from under the skin, especially the metals found in the ink.
I very much agree with “I treat vampires as just very long living humans, which means even tattoos fade over time as the skin cells regenerate.” and in fact, Ricean vampires do change, whatever animates them is working to convert their flesh; they can even accrue supernatural gifts over time*. I agree, then, re: your Vlad character, and it would probably be the same for Ricean vampires. Fading tattoos.
*Injury may also contribute to this, it’s implied that suffering damage will make them stronger (the old “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” thing, probably).
Which means now I’m imagining hair dying parties with other vampires cause they can’t see what they’re doing in the mirror.
Caffeine is a natural blood thinner so it could have some interesting effects for them. Not sure what though.
They’d probably also jitter quite a bit, depending on whether or not they absorb things more readily through their food (which one would think they would due to needing to absorb the things they need from blood) which could make the risk of addiction fairly substantial.
So yea, I think it would, though how that plays out is up to you and your worldbuilding 🙂
Unwanted butting-in from medical human and caffeine addict: caffeine isn’t so much a blood thinner, but it does act to boost metabolism and acts to release adrenaline (small doses). Obviously the specific effect will vary based on your vamp mythos and what you’ve decided vampirism means in your story, but I can see this used in an interesting way or two…
For instance, if your ‘verse uses cold vamps (ie room-temperature or slightly above), caffeine and a few other substances could act to help them raise their body temperature to “pass” with a human date (other things being alcohol for the vasodilatory properties, cinnamon for metabolic boost, taurine/guanine, plus the strategic application of hot packs). NICUs will give underdeveloped premies caffeine drips to aid development and raise core temp, so this isn’t completely left-field.
It also increases heart rate (particularly in “overdose”), which, if you have still-beating-heart-just-super-slow-heart-rate vamps, they might use caffeine to take their heart rate from “almost a stone” to “a very very very slow, but marginally realistic, human heart rate”. Again, passing for human on a date…
Just remember, caffeine is also a diuretic, and they may need to use the bathroom. And a male/bepenised vamp in the bathroom pissing blood into a urinal just tickles me pink.
Other thoughts: if vampires eat blood, and digest blood, then their poop will look very dark and tarry, and stink like the ending of worlds, and their puke will look like coffee grounds. Just a word to the wise.
Note to Scripty-Followers: @thebibliosphere‘s blog is SO VERY MUCH NSFW. I love her, but do not say I did not warn. Gods alone, so very NSFW…
I will have you know I only posted twice about sex related things yesterday. (Multiple reblogs of the same post don’t count, I was helping people with their vampire erotica problems, I should be sainted for my restraint)
and “caffeine isn’t so much a blood thinner”, my doctors lied to me, bitches gonna get stitches. Thank you for that about the heart rate and the body temp, I’ll be using that.
Vampires are feared everywhere, but the Balkan region has been especially haunted. Garlic has been regarded as an effective prophylactic against vampires. We wanted to explore this alleged effect experimentally. Owing to the lack of vampires, we used leeches instead. In strictly standardized research surroundings, the leeches were to attach themselves to either a hand smeared with garlic or to a clean hand. The garlic-smeared hand was preferred in two out of three cases (95% confidence interval 50.4% to 80.4%). When they preferred the garlic the leeches used only 14.9 seconds to attach themselves, compared with 44.9 seconds when going to the non-garlic hand (p < 0.05). The traditional belief that garlic has prophylactic properties is probably wrong. The reverse may in fact be true. This study indicates that garlic possibly attracts vampires. Therefore to avoid a Balkan-like development in Norway, restrictions on the use of garlic should be considered.
“Oh no,” the vampire said, tying the dinner napkin around his neck, “you smothered yourself in garlic?” Licking his lips as he pulls out salt and pepper shaker. “Whatever shall I do.”
It’s tough for me to answer bc I think it depends on every individual reader’s sense of humor,… even within “humorous/ dark tone as VC” there is a range*. So I can’t say definitively that these reccs are in line with what you’re looking for necessarily, but you can use this list as a starting point.
*Lestat dancing w/ Claudia’s mom’s corpse: Some ppl find this moment dark and hilarious and other ppl think it’s just disgusting, so… there is a range. Personally I find it pretty amusing.
(There are some duplicates on this list, sorry about that, but I wanted to list them by recc’er.) (And I added ** next to those that @gothiccharmschool just recc’d in two recent posts which I will reblog momentarily for you.)
In no special order:
(Okay this is the first one bc it IS special, and the closest to the humor of VC I’ve seen in awhile) This is a mockumentary/movie but it sneaks onto the top of the list bc it is just SO good, courtesy of @theamazingdrunk for reminding me in a comment on an older rec post: WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
**Salem’s Lot – Stephen King, personally, I find several Stephen King books to be darkly humorous, this one is a good one. I find humor in the Shining and Firestarter, too, but less so.
Vittorio – don’t forget Vittorio. Not sure if you read this one. It’s also by Anne Rice and technically not a VC book, he has a different origin story and is not part of the VC vampire group.
@riverofwhispers said: Carmilla is good Anita Blake and Sookie Stackhouse books, but only the early ones. the Rachel Morgan series but again starts out good gets weird later and it’s not about vampires so much as there are vampires in it.
@bluestockingcouture said: ‘The Angel’s Cut’, sequel to ‘The Vintner’s Luck’, is very atmospheric and well worth reading. Not quite as moving and intense, but there are some excellent new characters.
@sanguinivora said: Also, as to voice: IWTV opens in the late 1700’s/early 1800’s. Don’t know about either a southern American or French hinterlands-with-a-gloss-of-Parisian dialect, but for the grammar and vocabulary, one cannot go too far wrong looking to the novels of Jane Austen and Patrick O’Brian.
@dragontrainerdaenerys said: I just read Fevre Dream, George R.R Martin’s own vampire novel, and while I didn’t liked much his vampire mythology the main characters are charming! Besides, it’s set on the late 18XX and goes on the Mississipi River, so it has similar scenarios to IWTV!
@baroquebat said: Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, while futuristic, has a loooot of lovely gothic set pieces in the anime movie, plus its just gorgeous and has the rare treat of having a dhampir lead!
@annabellioncourt’s Recs, and these are mostly her descriptions, too, compiled from other recc posts:
The Bloody Chamber And Other Stories – Angela Carter
A Taste of Blood Wine – Freda Warrinton, for romance and decadence.
**Blood Opera Sequence (or “Trilogy”?) – Tanith Lee’s vampire series was out when Lestat was playing rockstar
Historian – Elizabeth Kostova, for its worldliness
**Fevre Dream (yes its spelled fevre) by George R. R. Martin (yes, its THAT Martin, and his take on vampires is Very Good.)
Sunshine by Robin McKinley
**The Delicate Dependency by Michael Talbot, also for romance and decadence. (the recently-published edition from Valancourt Books has a foreword by @gothiccharmschool!)
The Hunger by Whitley Scriber
**Dracula – Bram Stoker, for its stereotype-setting content
Lord Ruthven – Byronic vampire, Lestat doesn’t catch the irony of John Polidori’s mockery of the foppish, arrogant, and well…Lord-Byron-y vampire
I-want-my-IWTV 