past me: canon is sacred I must carefully fact-check everything to make sure it is canon-compliant
present me: canon is a box of scraps in a cave I’m gonna tear that shit apart throw away 90% of it and out of the good bits build something absolutely beautiful and amazing
Back during the time when it was popular to bash Twilight for both legitimate reasons (Edward being borderline abusive to Bella, the whole child grooming plot point in Breaking Dawn, etc.) and not (REAL VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE THATS GAY), I saw this meme on Facebook where it was Louis and Lestat from Interview With The Vampire commenting on Edward’s sparkling and making fun of him for being gay. Like… Buddy My Guy. My Fair Dude. My Dear Sweet Homophobic Idiot. Not only are the Vampires in IWTV super duper gay, you’re lying to yourself if you think Lestat wouldn’t slam dunk his entire body into a tub of glitter on any given occasion. You Fool. You Imbecile.
Louis: Does he ask our pity? He can walk in the sunlight, whereas we, foul creatures of darkness as we are, are forever barred from God’s kindly li –
Lestat, upending a pound of iridescent craft glitter on his head: SHUT UP LOUIS
Everyone on this post is gonna be sued by Anne Rice
Okay, but this is missing out on the glorious tags of the OP: #what kind of SAVAGE AND AN IDIOT would ever imagine Lestat#a man who crawled out of the swamps of new orleans because his ex wrote a book and was /getting more attention than him/#and then proceeded to become a GLAM ROCK DIVA and Slut For Fame™️#just so people wouldn’t forget who was Doing Better after the breakup#wouldn’t just absolutely snort a tub of glitter like so much expensive cocaine#lestat de lioncourt – ultimate nightmare toreador#cowards#have you met him even once
Feel free to send me rants about this mournful-yet-will-cut-a-bitch-while-looking-like-an-angel angel (<— NICE), bc #we appreciate and love louis in this house, as @13bels so eloquently tagged that post ❤
FILED AS: #lestat likes this #lestat is all #omg I am so proud of you #even tho u are slamming me into a tree #look at you finally testing your strength!! #my son #my husband #ily SO MUCH #imma tap your beautiful head to show you how proud I am of you
my amazing, beautiful & radiant girlfriend got me candles of how Louis and Lestat smell like, according to book descriptions, for Christmas help i’m goddamn cryin g
#ps louis smells v sweet #lestat just smells kinda like wet money
one thing I find hilarious is when Shakespeare quotes are used out of context
like, people are always saying “some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” as if it’s all deep and meaningful when actually it comes from a prank letter in Twelfth Night
and “This above all: to thine own self be true” comes from Polonius in Hamlet wherein the joke is that he’s an old pompous dude giving a long and rambling speech full of contradictory pointless advice to his son
“Brevity is the soul of wit” is another joke, because again, it’s made by Polonius who will just not shut up
it’s “we are such stuff as dreams are made on” not “of “, as in, “such stuff as dreams are built on”
“wherefore art thou, Romeo” doesn’t mean “where are you, Romeo” it means “why the fuck are you called Romeo, shit, I wanted to bang you but I can’t because you’re a goddamn Montague”
all these lines have acquired a kind of dignity in text that they never had in performance or are constantly misinterpreted
It’s not necessarily bad but it is kind of funny, sometimes.
I-want-my-IWTV 