Sometimes i just hate french language, we only have 1 word for being “excited” and “horny” it sucks because when i say “je suis vraiment excitée de te voir” it DOES NOT MEAN “I WANNA FUCK YOU AGAINST A WALL” IT MEANS “I’M EXCITED TO SEE YOU BECAUSE I MISSED YOU” BUT I CAN’T USE IT ANYMORE BECAUSE PEOPLE LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M SOME KIND OF SEXUAL MANIAC WHEN I DO IT
And don’t forget that the French word that was originally used for “to kiss” (and that is one of the meanings in a dictionary) now means “to fuck.” Americans get funny looks if they don’t know that one…
Oh yes, “baiser”….
Well this is all purely educational so #necessary reblog rebagelrebaguette.
GET IT? GET IT? BECAUSE THE MOVIE IS SO BAD IT MIGHT NOT BE WORTH LIVING IN A WORLD WHERE IT EXISTS. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Yes this world is still worth living in, marred as it is by that film. This describes my feeling for that heartbreaking work of staggering genius (by textsfromthevampire):
Can someone please tell me what this cover is supposed to represent?
Looks like the tips of two gondolas about to crash? But there’s blood so like, fang-related?
Armand did spend a good chunk of happy times in Italy but like this makes no frickin’ sense and we can’t even hold AR responsible bc I don’t think she has any say in these cover designs.
Y’know I don’t know exactly what was going on but she was in some kind of fabulous ecstasy to not try to stop him notice him basically biting her tongue and sucking on it… Supposedly Louis can Spellbind ppl w/o consciously trying, this is one of his Gifts.
…but also Lestat is doing most of the “work” for him in this scene, she’s probably reacting to that more.
I don’t think there are any major arteries in the mouth that he could have hit, so it’s just, IDK, tongue blood. And he is spilling some. Seems like alot of effort and not much dinner for him. When we see her mouth again, her lips look a little bloody but not damaged, so he was either biting her tongue or the inside of her mouth somewheres. #kinda ew
Ever bite your tongue hard?
I have! And when I had braces (yes I had braces TOTES WORTH IT) the brackets gashed to insides of my mouth. Alot. Wounds closed and then tore afresh. It hurt. I still have scars inside (TOTES WORTH IT).
Anyway my point stands: she must like the treatment she’s getting if she’s this into it.
It’s called the lingual artery, runs along the underside of the tongue, is the reason piercing your tongue is dangerous, and you can bleed out from there with the help of a lustful vampire.
Oh! Thanks for the info thinkingnonsensically! (Used this Lestat reaction gif bc even tho I was too lazy to look that up, I’m sure ‘Stat would have known this info tho he probably would have preferred Louis go for the jugular like HE DID, like the wound was already open! No bite necessary! Louis you n00b)
also, i really want there to be more vampires and so on who, instead of speaking in a charming, cultured, but vaguely old-fashioned way because they are a 275-year-old consciousness in an undead, unaging 19-year-old body, talk in embarrassingly misapplied or outdated slang and pop culture references in a failed effort to blend in with their apparent peer group
…or who speak pretty normally most of the time, but lapse into saying stuff like “GOD’S WOUNDS, YOU CUR“ when they get upset enough
vampires who got turned 30 years ago and still say “radical”
vampires who just use WAY too much 90s slang. vampires who say “booyah” when they get too excited.
vampires who mix all slang from the past 5 centuries mercilessly within the same breath and don’t even try to stop it anymore.
Unhand me, you egg-sucking, lily-livered, jive-talking, whackadoo. Foul villain! Cur! I bite my thumb at thee, you ugly motherfucker, so hasta la bye bye, daddy-o!
Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are! (From Dusk Till Dawn, 1996)
#from dusk till dawn#dude they do not show a vampire playing with their fangs often enough cinematically#bc that is the first damn thing i would do#EVERY NIGHT#play with or touch fangs#bc they are mega awesome okay#repeatedly bite own lip to scare ppl#YES#this is how I would vampire#yes I would like to vampire plz#how to vampire#not VC#VC adjacent
#SERIOUSLY I DON’T HEAR ABOUT JUST HAVING FANGS ENOUGH #I mean those two idiots in iwtv took every chance to show their fangs with a stretched grin or open mouthed laugh but to actually play with #their fangs like a nervous tick #especially newbie vamps #because just learning how to talk again without biting off your tongue after getting those things #like that would take a couple days at least
YES ALL THAT #AUGH #THIS IS ALL WE GET IN TERMS OF A VAMPIRE PLAYING WITH HIS FANGS IT IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH #but praise him for doing it I bet it was not in the script #ACTING #PROFESSIONAL ACTING
pachinkohero said: Wait isn’t this a series about vampires
sorry dude i totally forgot to reply to this because I’ve been on mobile for the last several days. The creatures in Blood Vivicanti take inspiration from vampires but basically because Anne Rice got weirdly territorial and said Becket couldn’t use classic vampire mythology because that was her thing or whatever, they have more science fiction origins. The not-vampires in The Blood Vivicanti are made by getting a blood transfusion from a comatose red alien upon which they receive a stinger on the tip of their tongue that allows them to see and retain memories by drinking blood with it and has the side effect of creating a venom which makes people orgasm.
based on the assumption that human blood can survive in a vampire for about the same amount of time it can in a human body, vampires would only need to feed three or four times a year (red blood cells live about 110 days on average). this would be if they completely drained all their victims.
humans can survive losing up to about 40% of their blood, which means that a vampire pushing their limits with each victim would probably need to feed 12 times a year minimum
so like once a month
Hey guess what else happens once a month involving blood
omg no
Now that’s recycling
“Actually, period blood would be really good for a vampire; it’s incredibly nutritious, because it’s supposed to feed a foetus! And it’s probably the cleanest blood in the human body. It’s sterile.” My wife contributed.
Vampire lesbians
This is an actual scene in Memnoch the Devil by Anne Rice. Lestat earns his red wings; everybody comes away happy.
It’s fine to ask! It depends on how much (and which) canon and fanfic you have read, and how much you’ve read between the lines.
#Let’s talk about sex
I’d say they both defied definitions, but the short answer would be, mortal!Lestat loves who he loves regardless of their physical container, and mortal!Louis struggled with bisexual/homosexual desires.
Spoilers ahead:
Mortal!Lestat:
I don’t want to try to assign a label like “bisexual” or “pansexual” bc there’s so many labels for orientation now and the definitions are confusing no matter how many definitions I read or how many times ppl try to explain the thing to me 😛
I’d say mortal!Lestat is romantically drawn to someone for their soul first and their physical accessories second. He’s had relationships with men and women, been physically attracted to both.
He had a relationship with Nicolas, for sure. They kissed, they slept together, it was all heavily implied. I doubt vampirebaby!Lestat would have been stalking mortal!Nicolas if they had only been Super Best Friends 5ever.
Lestat didn’t talk about long-term female relationships as a mortal, but that he bedded the village girls (I can’t find a reference but I’m pretty sure he mentions it).
And he bedded one of the actresses in the troupe he tried to run away from home with: “That night, the actress who played my inamorata gave me her own very special and intimate accolades. I went to sleep in her arms…”
He might have had a side fling with the female actresses in the Paris theatre, Renaud’s: “Send flowers for Jeannette and Luchina, the girls I had fought with the most and most loved,”
In ToBT, mortal!Lestat beds a woman (non-con), and has a short but intense relationship with another woman, and returns to her to prove he was telling the truth about himself. She kicks his sorry butt out the door.
Also in ToBT, Lestat wages a campaign of seduction on David Talbot, who does not give in, despite a valiant effort on Lestat’s part!
in later canon, Lestat is powerfully drawn to Dr. Rowan Mayfair and promises he’ll give her the Dark Gift.
Mortal!Louis
He really doesn’t talk much about his pre-vampiring life. Claudia asks him about sex and he tells her:
“It was something hurried, and … it was seldom savored … something acute that was quickly lost. I think that it was the pale shadow of killing.”
Maybe he didn’t want to hurt her feelings, since he knew she could never experience it herself. Maybe he really felt that way.
Personally, I headcanon that Louis might have had a little experience in being with men as a mortal, but Lestat’s the one who really pushed him over the edge. Alot of vampirebaby!Louis’ issues with Lestat could have partly been bc Louis was brought up in a religious frame of mind that meant homosexuality was sinful, so whenever he felt physical and emotional desire for Lestat, he hit himself with a wave of self-hatred 😛
ooc; also never forget that in the original Interview with the Vampire short story, Lestat was a farmer, Louis had a thing for his niece, and Daniel met Louis in a bar called the Pink Baby which was definitely a gay bar.
wHY U DO THIS?
YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF THE ORIGINAL STORY????
FIND IT READ IT QUESTION ANNE’S SANITY
(even more then we do now tbh)
I know of this version here but I don’t think it has what merciful-death mentioned specifically… is there another version out there? Halp!
But really, read that short story, it made me just…
I-want-my-IWTV 