Jan Van Oost – Mirrorcoffin (1987)

Paging Lestat.




St. Petersburg, Russia 



“Have you looked in a mirror lately?”
“What’s a mirror?”
“That’s your comeback?”
“No, like- I don’t know what a mirror is because I’m a vampire.”
“Vampires can see mirrors. They can’t see reflections.”
“Hey! I may be a vampire, but I am ALSO a dumbass!”

-Breakfast conversations with my girlfriend


//Consider: 21st century Louis and Lestat going to Ikea to furnish their apartment. They can’t agree on anything and spend most of the precious few hours between sundown and closing time arguing because Lestat wants to buy every modern and flashy item in the store while Louis just wants a simple armchair to sit and read his books in peace but oh my god Louis look there’s an egg-shaped chair that spins and it even has a canopy over it! Lestat then actually tries to fit himself into this child-sized chair while Louis proceeds to have a migraine. Lestat drags Louis, who just wants to sit down for one goddamned second, along through the entire labyrinthine place, exclaiming over every colorful, avant-garde object. Louis is certain he’s seen that hideous bookshelf four times already and it’s either following them or he’s actually losing his mind. Lestat has gone starry-eyed currently surrounded by a collection of amorphous accent pieces which are beginning to look positively ominous. Somewhere along the line they pass a vaguely phallic-shaped rug which just adds to the feeling that they’ve entered some sort of cursed liminal space and nothing really feels real anymore and thank god or whatever powers exist when they finally get kicked out at closing time before they actually become trapped here by some unknowable force of madness.


[^X by @logicalnephilim




I want a story about an Italian vampire.

No romance, no action.

Just 200 pages of “What do you mean, I can’t have garlic? Do you know where I’m from?”

TBH I think the main issue would be the mirror thing

have you ever met an Italian man

the amount of time they spend looking in the mirror jfc

#the more you think about it the more all vampire rules are just anti-italian rules#can’t go out in sunlight?? IN ITALY???#Can’t go near crucifixes? IN ITALY???