Another one, because I need to draw at least three of them. Obviously. (It’s 2 am, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m not even sure whether this is a vampire or a sad lost puppy.)
ok but like are you trying to tell me that there has never been a fat vampire? a fat person has never been bitten nor has a vampire ever drank enough blood to put on some weight? really?
First of all why would you say that to a stranger on the internet? I feel sorry for Anon, that they felt the need to put someone down this heartlessly. What a gross oversimplification.
How dare you tell someone they’re not pretty or slim enough for anything. Who made you the Decider of Prettiness and Slimness? I didn’t vote for you.
While it’s true that fandoms/media tend not to glamorize fat and/or ugly fictional vampires, they do exist.
@askavampirologist might have more to say on this, but here’s a whole pile of fat and/or ugly vampires some of which I found on a QUICK SEARCH OF TEH GOOGLE which Anon could also have done but was apparently too lazy or cynical to bother with doing.
1. Magnus, Lestat’s maker, is described as being ugly. He’s missing all his teeth except for his fangs. Were they lost/removed before he became a vampire or after? We don’t know. Usually, having all one’s teeth is a necessary element in being considered “attractive,” among other things. [Fanart by J. Oliver, Magnus on the right]
2. Meet Pearl from Blade, a FAT AND UGLY VAMPIRE. Someone made him (I don’t remember if Pearl was m/f) a vampire, was it before he was obese or after? Was it before he got ugly or after? Someone had a reason to do it and it might not have been based on beauty or slimness AT ALL.
3. Here’s Deacon from What We Do in the Shadows, and while I wouldn’t call him FAT, I wouldn’t call him SLIM either. Nor is he attractive to everyone even tho he thinks he is.
4. Here’s a Cassandra Clare quote on the subject: “Maybe they didn’t make vampires out of ugly people. Or maybe ugly people just didn’t want to live forever.”
^While I don’t necessarily agree with her, there could be some truth in that. Not everyone would want to have to kill to live forever, maybe it so happens that “fat” and/or “ugly” people are more compassionate in that regard and wouldn’t be able to do it. Or there have been
“fat” and/or “ugly” vampires who have chosen to die rather than continue vampiring for whatever reasons.
You want some more? Hit the jump.
5. Alan Moore made a “morbidly obese vampire bride” … “a fat monster that spends her day wallowing in the filth of an abandoned movie theater.“ It was part of a Swamp Thing series, I think. [full page here]
6. Lady Luljetta “is a female vampire who resides in the country of Lelitania, where is originally from no one really knows.” [X] There seems to be fanart of her out there! [fanart by @fatline, who will draw any and all fat related draw requests]
7. This is a very real book, I haven’t read it but apparently it’s part of a FAT WHITE VAMPIRE series!
*re-reads my own story*: Damn this is some good shit
*gets to the part where I stopped writing*: WTF WHERE’S THE REST OF IT HOW DO I GET MORE
Brain: You’re the author, if you want more you have to write it
Me: *flips tables*
i-want-my-iwtv IM SORRY I HAD TO TAG YOU THIS IS TOO PERFECT 😂😂😂😂😂💖💖💖💖
Awww thanx, I did already see this and comment on it but I was being silly and hyperbolic when I added the “NO CAPES” gifs bc in truth I think it’s totally adorable, he’s totally adorable, and I want to buy a cape made by this man as soon as possible. I would wear it with an enormous amount of pride btw I will take mine with a white or pastel silk lining like these yes good.
I was thinking of a VC headcanon that Lestat decides to watch Austin Powers one night, and falls in love with it. he then awkwardly realizes that he is dressed the same way as Austin. Ruffly, lacy shirt with a velvet suit.
And then, I remembered…
this:
It happened
#FANCANON
#the James Bond of Vampires #HEADCANON ACCEPTED #AGREES AGGRESSIVELY
when i read this i thought by “balls” you meant “testicles” and i just sat here for like two minutes thinking about why vampires having testicles is peculiar to you and why it means that they hang out with the upper class
The idea came from me….and as for the other balls, I was born with them. Big ones. They don’t just drop off after receiving the Dark Gift either.
I just ordered Only Lovers and What We Do on Netflix so I can do a double-feature. Which one should I watch first?
Both sets of of vampires could probably benefit from find amusement in this book:
I saw OLLA first, and then months later, WWDitS. I think that was an acceptable order, because OLLA is aesthetically more serious, but still has humor and sweetness to it. WWDitS is very touching at times, and largely more humorous. The documentary style of the latter also gives it an earnest kind of charm *u*
They both deal with the usual vampiric existential concerns and they both have different takes on vampire physiology/mythology (in at least one major way OLLA vampires are fragile in a way that WWDitS vampires are not), and the rules of vampiring in general. I don’t think either really usurps the other in these categories.
In a way, (and aside from their different rules), I think the vampires from both could exist in the same universe, so it doesn’t really matter which order you see their stories in, as they could be existing simultaneously ;]
Someone edited R.E.M.’s “Losing My Religion” to be in major instead of minor and it is absurd.
That’s me in the corner 😀 That’s me in the spot 😀 light 😀
Losing my religion XDDD
Marius: “To be godless is probably the first
step to innocence, to lose the sense of sin and subordination, the false grief
for things supposed to be lost.”
Lestat:
“So by innocence you mean not an absence of experience, but an absence of
illusions.”
Marius:
“An absence of need for illusions. A love of and respect for what is right
before your eyes.”
I-want-my-IWTV 