Caffeine is a natural blood thinner so it could have some interesting effects for them. Not sure what though.
They’d probably also jitter quite a bit, depending on whether or not they absorb things more readily through their food (which one would think they would due to needing to absorb the things they need from blood) which could make the risk of addiction fairly substantial.
So yea, I think it would, though how that plays out is up to you and your worldbuilding 🙂
Unwanted butting-in from medical human and caffeine addict: caffeine isn’t so much a blood thinner, but it does act to boost metabolism and acts to release adrenaline (small doses). Obviously the specific effect will vary based on your vamp mythos and what you’ve decided vampirism means in your story, but I can see this used in an interesting way or two…
For instance, if your ‘verse uses cold vamps (ie room-temperature or slightly above), caffeine and a few other substances could act to help them raise their body temperature to “pass” with a human date (other things being alcohol for the vasodilatory properties, cinnamon for metabolic boost, taurine/guanine, plus the strategic application of hot packs). NICUs will give underdeveloped premies caffeine drips to aid development and raise core temp, so this isn’t completely left-field.
It also increases heart rate (particularly in “overdose”), which, if you have still-beating-heart-just-super-slow-heart-rate vamps, they might use caffeine to take their heart rate from “almost a stone” to “a very very very slow, but marginally realistic, human heart rate”. Again, passing for human on a date…
Just remember, caffeine is also a diuretic, and they may need to use the bathroom. And a male/bepenised vamp in the bathroom pissing blood into a urinal just tickles me pink.
Other thoughts: if vampires eat blood, and digest blood, then their poop will look very dark and tarry, and stink like the ending of worlds, and their puke will look like coffee grounds. Just a word to the wise.
Note to Scripty-Followers: @thebibliosphere‘s blog is SO VERY MUCH NSFW. I love her, but do not say I did not warn. Gods alone, so very NSFW…
I will have you know I only posted twice about sex related things yesterday. (Multiple reblogs of the same post don’t count, I was helping people with their vampire erotica problems, I should be sainted for my restraint)
and “caffeine isn’t so much a blood thinner”, my doctors lied to me, bitches gonna get stitches. Thank you for that about the heart rate and the body temp, I’ll be using that.
I met a photographer in New Orleans who said Anne Rice told him she started dressing flashier because Elvis came to her in a dream and told her to. God bless Anne Rice.
kinda a werewolf for a bit until bram stoker forgot about it
can crawl down the side of a building, head first. stoker claims this is lizard like, i think it’s more like spiderman
apparently has magic clothes? because as he is doing said spiderman crawl down his castle, his cloak is spread out like wings. sir, that is not how gravity works
master of disguises. and by master i mean casually hides as a ginger sometimes
can turn into: a bat, a dog, and dust?
looks super old, has a blood feast, looks younger
needs tons of dirt to sleep on. luckily that dirt never actually ruins his clothes. most likely because they are all magical?
does his own chores. mostly because everyone in transylvania KNOWS HE IS A VAMPIRE AND AVOIDS HIM. so no servants for this count.
sometimes can be in the daylight? depending on stoker’s mood i think?
bites people in a way that makes zero sense. he leaves two marks? how??? does he not use his bottom teeth?????
stoker sometimes just forgot what he already wrote so good luck with this mess
Daniel : So there are no vampires in Transylvania? No Count Dracula?
Louis: Fictions, my friend. The vulgar fictions of a demented Irishman.
apanthropinization
(noun) A rare and ancient word in the English lexicon, apanthropinization is defined as the act of withdrawing oneself from the state of humanity and its inevitable turmoil and anxiety. Although, phonetically and aesthetically, the word is harsh, its meaning originated from a delicate urge: the primitive human need to lust in beauty, particularly the beauty of nature. Without a doubt apanthropinization possesses hermit-like behavior, but surfaces from instinct. One does not retreat because he/she is bitter, but rather retreats to the primal urge to admire and become captivated by beauty and symmetry. (via pushpulld)
I’d love to have a more in-depth discussion of this sometime, but here’s a few facts off the top of my head
Mozart used to stay out all night partying and getting laid and then he’d sleep until noon and his long-suffering jerk of a father had to drag him out of bed to practice
He also wrote the overture for the opera Don Giovanni the morning it premiered, while extremely hungover
The interval between a perfect 4th and a perfect 5th (a tritone) was called “the devil’s interval”, and for centuries composers avoided it at all costs because it was believed to cause madness, violence, and sexual desire
Franz Liszt played so intensely that he physically destroyed pianos and they had to invent a stronger one (which is the model still used today)
Another thing about Liszt: women used to throw their underwear at him while he was performing. He was the first one-man boy band.
At the premiere of The Rite of Spring the audience was so alarmed by the dissonance and non-traditional style that they left their seats to storm out or beat each other up in the aisles
Many symphonies use non-traditional percussion like canons or massive wooden mallets, modern classical composers like John Cage like to stick things in piano strings
Shostakovich was the most hardcore composer (though I’m biased because he’s my fave). He barely escaped being exiled or killed by Stalin while continuing to write music containing forbidden folk melodies or thunderous movements depicting the dictator himself.
Paganini had no teeth and apparently looked like the devil
If folks have other facts I’d love to hear them!
J.S. Bach straight up lost one of his first jobs because he got in a sword fight with one of his students. He was 20. His student was 23. Apparently he called the student a “nanny-goat bassoonist”.
There is an opera about a magical ring that gives the wearer the power to rule the world. Through all the carnage for ownership of the ring, ALL the gods die, and Valhalla is destroyed. The opera is known as “The Ring Cycle” by Richard Wagner, and it is 15 hours long.
Oh and another thing about Liszt, he used to wear gloves and then throw them dramatically into the audience (of what I can only imagine as screaming teenage girls) before he performed.
Mozart wrote a piece called “"Leck mich im Arsch“, or “Lick Me in the Arse.”
Before batons was used for conducting, they used “pointed staffs” that would beat the tempo against the ground. Jean-Baptiste Lully stabbed himself through the foot with it, and therefore died from gangrene from the wound.
There is an aria in Lucia di Lammermoor in which the soprano has gone completely mad and has stabbed her husband to death. She sings with an accompanying flute (a bird that she’s hearing in her head), while in her wedding dress – covered in blood.
In Berlioz’s Symphony Fantastique, movement IV – “The March to the Scaffold”, the music depicts a young man’s march to the guillotine. You can hear the moment his head is cut off and bounces down the stairs.
I could probably go on forever. Classical music is fascinating!
Sometimes i just hate french language, we only have 1 word for being “excited” and “horny” it sucks because when i say “je suis vraiment excitée de te voir” it DOES NOT MEAN “I WANNA FUCK YOU AGAINST A WALL” IT MEANS “I’M EXCITED TO SEE YOU BECAUSE I MISSED YOU” BUT I CAN’T USE IT ANYMORE BECAUSE PEOPLE LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M SOME KIND OF SEXUAL MANIAC WHEN I DO IT
And don’t forget that the French word that was originally used for “to kiss” (and that is one of the meanings in a dictionary) now means “to fuck.” Americans get funny looks if they don’t know that one…
Oh yes, “baiser”….
Well this is all purely educational so #necessary reblog rebagelrebaguette.
Talking about the Priapus jokes, I can totally picture Lestat reciting some verses from the Priapeia to Louis. For example:
– “Simpler far to declare in our Latin, Lend me thy buttocks; What shall I say to thee else?” – “Pierced with a foot-long pole thy skin shall be stretched in such fashion, Thou shalt be fain to believe ne’er had a wrinkle thine arse. ” – “Such be the fruits that youth who owneth the flourishing fieldlet, Placed on the table of stone, naked Priapus! for thee. ” – “This staff in robbers’ vitals deep shall plunge, Up to its bushy base and bag of balls. ”
– Oh, and there’s many many MANY more.
^Well that was informative. Try memorizing these for hilariously better insults to hurl at your friends and family!
It’s Armand and it’s actually canonand one of my favorite parts to visualize in QotD(although it’s honky-tonk not ragtime, but their styles are related) I mean, just imagine Daniel waking up to that, looking completely DONE.
Actually, there seems to be a few steps missing from this ‘guide’. I don’t want to mislead my fans into thinking they can achieve proper Lestatism in less than ten steps.
Have impeccable fashion sense
Fall in love with (almost) anyone who seems even remotely interesting…. except for Armand.
Remember to visit Louis at least once or twice every few years or so, less he start whining loud enough for you to hear it.
(Actually pretend youre not obsessed with Armand by saying you love everyone but him)